Lead stage – first impression counts.
Office joke: “We answer faster than your ex texts back.”
Customer line: “Don’t worry, we don’t bite – unless you try to pay with pizza coupons.”
Background music: Call Me Maybe – because yes, they did just call you.

But seriously: Answer quick, speak plain, don’t pretend a loveseat weighs 600 lbs. 

Estimate – be straight, write it down.
Office joke: “We’re like magicians – except we do show you where the numbers come from.”
Customer line: “This estimate is so clear, even your dog could sign it. But let’s stick with you.”
Crew music: Money, Money, Money by ABBA (but turned down when the customer walks in).

But seriously: Give a written estimate, explain Full Value vs. Released Value, and get a signature.

Pickup day – show up on time and write everything.
Driver joke: “We show up on time – unlike cable installers.”
Customer line: “We’ll treat this couch like it’s a celebrity on the red carpet.”
Truck music: Move It, Move It – obvious, but still funny when you crank it up.

But seriously: Walk the house with the customer. If you note damage, write where it is –  “scratch on left armrest” beats “SC” every time. FMCSA’s recent HHG enforcement operations found hundreds of violations tied to paperwork and consumer complaints, so accurate pickup notes actually keep you out of trouble.

During the move – be the crew customers brag about.
Crew banter: “Remember: if it doesn’t fit, force it… just kidding, call the dispatcher.”
Customer line: “We charge for stairs, but jokes are free.”
Playlist pick: Highway to Hell (only when you’re driving empty – never with the customer onboard).

But seriously: No shortcuts, no “we’ll fix it later” talk. Record every extra service (stair carry, appliance hookup) before you roll. If it’s not on the paperwork, don’t expect to collect for it later.

Delivery – slow down and review the list.
Office joke: “We’ll deliver faster than Amazon Prime… and we won’t throw your box over the fence.”
Customer line: “We’re almost done – promise this isn’t a hostage situation.”
Celebration music: Sweet Caroline – because nothing says job complete like off-key singalongs.

But seriously:  Go item by item with the customer, and get signatures where it counts. Clear handwriting and explicit exceptions beat a courtroom argument and keep FMCSA from coming a-knockin’.

FMCSA tie-in (because rules matter)
Sure, this is all fun and games, but don’t forget: FMCSA is out there counting paperwork violations like bouncers counting IDs. Skip the estimate, forget the valuation, or “lose” the Rights & Responsibilities booklet, and suddenly the joke’s on you.

Consistency, trust, and clear paperwork keep you out of trouble – and keep your customers laughing with you, not at you.